Read online Turn This World Inside Out AUTHOR Nora Samaran – steamlite.co.uk


Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girls Heart uHeory frame that is nuanced theoretical and fun to read if you re a bit of philosophy dork anyway Within ten minutes of reading this I d already sent the link to Own Apologize Repair Coming Back to Integrity to three different friends These are the kinds of concepts that are both intellectually fun to explore and will probably make you a better human for having read themThere are a couple reasons you should buy the book AK Press is a wonderful independent publisher and you should support them AND the interviews that follow the articles are great especially the aggregated one about men and vulnerability If you don t want to spend the money or read the whole book then read the three articles that makep the bulk of the book and are available for free on Samaran s website They re worth your time Great read for its length I can t speak for how this would read to a male identified person who has no experience thinking or reflecting on these issues but as someone already familiar this book presented a lot of familiar topics in a clear succinct way that gave me a better grasp on some things I Pirate Gold understood but couldn t always put into perfect words Guilt is not the same as empathy is the one line that really stuck with me and I love itThe other insight that really struck me was in the dialogue surrounding trans issues and gender when the interviewee pointed out that trans people aren t the only people who have a complicated relationship to their own gender most cis people do as well I think this insight opens the door for a kind ofniversal politic that could pull cis people even cis men into LGBT politics in a way dependable than just an ally providing supportcharity which I think everyone has realised is a dodgy support as best The trans movement has the potential to liberate The Heart of Cool us all from the trappings of gender I think something can be done with that and nurturance culture is the key Turn This World Inside Out by Nora Samaran is aick read that expands Minotaur Lust upon Samaran s widely read essay The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture The book s expansion on the topic is carried largely by Samaran s interviews with others I am guessing though I did not count the pages that of this book is interviews that Samaran did with various people than it is her own personal writing I believe this was a smart move by Samaran It is always a smart move to consult a wide range of people for a topic but with this book in particular I found Samaran s personal writings to be limitedite heavily by her personal experience I assume she is a white cisgender heterosexual woman If I am incorrect in assuming that identity it is because her personal writings center this kind of experienceThat is not to say that there is nothing to be gained from the chapters written only by Samaran There is great information about attachment theory the importance in addressing conflict in nuanced ways the seriousness of gaslighting as an abusive behavior how to make a good apology and accept responsibility and others Samaran is also very good at holding onto others humanity in her analyses She expresses information in a gentle and accessible way often lacking in discussions of topics within this book The book is well written efficiently organized and contains a ton of important information in a very small spaceWhere Samaran falls short is in including a intersectional approach in terms of her writing The way she discusses attachment styles is as if all cis men without a secure attachment are avoidant and all cis women without one are anxious This is not true as studies show that expressions of attachment styles are similar across genders though they affect genders differently All interactions and relationships seem to center a heterosexual framework as well She does throw in a masculine people in place of the word men and women and femmes in place of women here and there in what I assume is an attempt to be inclusive However she lacks nderstanding of how masculinities function outside cis heterosexual white men and seems to misunderstand the definitions of and the problems with the phrase women and femmes It shows in some of her writingThe inclusion of interviews by trans women andor women of color and femmes It shows in some of her writingThe inclusion of interviews by trans women andor women of color as Serena Bhandar Ruby Smith Diaz Aravinda Anada and others do well to combat this lack of insight This is what separates Samaran s book from other white hetero cis women s literature that is lacking in these areas Those books also often have something important to offer in terms of the author s personal EXPERIENCES AND SO ON THE PROBLEM WITH THIS BOOK and so on The problem with this book in the fact that the interviews seem to have been done after the rest of the book was written and thus the learning gained from the interviews is not implemented in her own essays The ordering of things is often essay interview essay interview but when we get to the essays the information within reverts back to the same singular perspectiveAnother issue I had with Samaran s personal essays was how she tackled the topic of gaslighting sing her own experiences The beginning of the chapter which discusses how severe the effects of gaslighting can be is a great start The end of the chapter which exemplifies the harmful and extreme ways gaslighting exists in community and abuse dynamics is an excellent end But in the center Samaran waters down the definition of gaslighting basically sing it to mean this person disagreed with me and said it in a mean way This is specifically evident in her second example in which a male friend disagreed with her about seeing rent signs in her neighborhood and she labeled this gaslighting because he said it like she was an idiot gaslighting because he said it like she was an idiot is misuses like these of the term that make its existence taken less seriously and hides the fact that we all experience the world in different ways There is a reason that eye witness testimonies are extremely flawed Later in the book Samaran details some of the abuse her family endured with her father and I am not sure why she didn t draw on that for her examples of gaslighting Every misunderstanding expression of false information especially out of ignorance or irritated response is not abuse It can be problematic behavior or a stressful conflict that absolutely needs to be addressed without being treated as abuseBecause of these limitations analyses that should have been included such as conflicts within same gender romantic and other relationships white woman tears that are sed to silence people of color the complex nature of trans peoples experiences with gender vs how they are read in the world the complexities of different masculinities when they co occur with other marginalized identities the existence of masculine women and feminine men the experiences of sick andor disabled people with and so on Luckily the interviews do address many of these things beautifully which is why I still consider this to be a worthwhile read In conclusion my recommendation is to approach this book as a great collection of interviews interspersed with the author talking about her own experiences This was also posted to my blog A really interesting exploration of what nurturance culture would look like a community that sees people as inherently interconnected and that pushes back against cancel culture How do we recognize harm while not endlessly pushing people out How do we do the work of creating and maintaining relationships centring those who are harmed while also asking those who have done harm to acknowledge and repair that harm I like the inclusion of dialogues with other people who bring in other viewpoints like trans perspectives on the discussion of gendered violence and poc perspectives on dismantling white supremacy in nurturance culture They re thought provoking essays but they re fairly accessible which I appreciate Probably my favourite part of the book was the discussion of Secure Anxious and Avoidant attachment styles in Chapter 1 I liked the Shame and guilt―can move toward inverting cultures of dominance and systems of oppression When communities are able to recognize and speak p about systemic violence center the needs of those harmed and hold a circle of belonging that humanizes everyone they create a revolutionary foundation of. ,


Turn This World Inside Out

characters Turn This World Inside Out

Etaphor of the chair for insecure attachment styles and how if it s broken nder you before you may think hard about sitting down again so you need extra reassurance and comfort to get secureI found the description of dismissive avoidant attachment to be fairly enlightening and validating for my relationship with certain people in my life They may feel suffocated or trapped when people get too close and will The Way of Wizardry (Dragon Warriors RPG unconsciously and involuntarilyse deactivating strategies body language and facial expressions The idea that they re pushing you away rejecting and saying no with their body language preventing secure attachment and no you re not imagining it is huge I also The Bellringers Bedside Companion uite enjoyed their description of nurturance and attunement and see its implications in consent Nurturance recognizes and responds appropriately in an alive moving dance to the other person s need for intimacy and need for space learning how to engage in nonverbal communication that comforts reassures and breathes skill of attunement recognizing when someone wants to come close and when they want space not only by asking but also by reading subtle nonverbal cues My highlighted parts Introduction Attachment theory teachess that true autonomy relies on feeling securely connected to other human beings Current developments in the field of attachment science have recognized that bonded pairs such as couples or parents and children build bonds that physiologically shape their nervous systems Contrary to many Western conceptions of the self as disconnected and atomized operating in isolation 50 Years of Documenta 1955-2005 using nothing but grit and determination it turns out that close knit connections to others are in large part how we grow into our own fully expressed autonomous selves belonging in human and nonhuman communities it seems to me is something like breathing in the invisible substance that sustains our life When we can recognize that fact we can turn our attention to theality of the webs that contain and sustain s and grow their health and well being which is the same thing as growing our own we have relational responsibilities to one another regardless of our emotional closeness Harm whether in the form of violation or neglect is then nderstood as a harm to the integrity of those bonds or as a failure to meet relational responsibilities Where we are born into privilege we are charged with dismantling any myth of supremacyentitlement Where we were born into struggle we are charged with claiming our dignity joy and liberation adrienne maree brown Emergent Strategy Opposite of masculine rape culture is masculine nurturance culture men increasing their capacity to nurture and becoming wholeCompassion for self and compassion for others grow together and are connected This means that men finding and recuperating the lost parts of themselves will heal everyone Chapter 3 Serena Bhandar s words When we say that only trans people transgress gender identity then we do not permit room for cis people who feel shame about their gender identity When we permit that violence against trans folks and create structures that permit that violence against trans folks we also permit that violence against cis folks who experience those kinds of gender policing It s not that we are all the same Instead we all have the potential to be similar to each other when we ascribe masculinity to a person we ascribe it as a stable definite attribute We don t recognize how it can break and change and be tossed aside Ch4 shame aversion is a powerful emotional logic that connects otherwise incoherent emotional manipulation switchbacks and logical incoherence The essence of gaslighting is this actively doing something to another person that Clandestino: In Search of Manu Chao uite expectedly leads them to feel feelings sadness hurt confusion fear and then telling them or implying that they are crazy to feel those feelings because you did not do the thing that you did in fact do In other words messing with your sense of reality andndermining your sanity by saying something is not happening when it absolutely is Even good men don t really want women to trust themselves because that would give back some of the power and control that patriarchy gives men Ch 5 Ruby Smith D az s words Afrofuturism do character sketches imagining a world without oppression We ask what it would look like if we were truly free and Thin Air (Jessica Shaw, unafraid to be who we are What would you look like What would you wear What would your superpower abilities be and how would youse them to bring healing into the world reminds me of introduction A Fine Mouse Band uestion What would it look like to belong in the world as our whole selvesse as a person socialized as a woman in this society I was taught that it s desirable to take p less space If we want a world that is different and that leaves behind all of the oppressive systems and values that we have we need to be able to heal ourselves because we embody so many of those oppressive values and systems and perpetuate them in our livesWe absorb and replicate consciously and subconsciously the toxicity of the environments in which we are living Angela Y Davis Freedom Is a Constant StruggleCh 6 Aravinda Ananda Shame is when a person feels they are inherently bad or have no worth Healthy remorse on the other hand is ite different it is when you acknowledge that you did something to hurt someone and because you don t want that harmful impact to continue you would like to not only apologize but also repair that harm and when that harm does get recognized suddenly someone is a bad person and disposable But you can t shame someone out of a shame aversion This fragility response may be caused both by internalized shame and also by the conditioning into supremacy that creates an inherent expectation of entitlement Countering both at the same time seems to help We like you we are not going to shun you or turn away from you you belong and have inherent worth as a human being and also this action this ingrained entitlement and harmful behavior is not OK And Needs To and needs to We will turn toward you connect with you and tell you no false identity that they are good because of the label of white and therefore they can t let feedback in that their actions have a negative impact because it challenges that sense of self worth references Janet E Helms work There is a kind of deep visceral betrayal of human trust that can magnify harm significantly when those around you do not even perceive it occurring And yet that is precisely how normalized systemic violence works it renders the harm normal and all resistance to harm disruptive There is healing from what has happened in the past but there is also creating conditions in which the people around you can recognize continuing oppression happening in an ongoing way right now and say no This reuires setting Horse Sense up conditions of kindness andnconditional acceptance while also clearly establishing how actions that perpetuate systemic harm are not acceptable and need to stop Ch 7 Own Apologize ask for Repair name what you did apologize sincerely and lovingly and ask what the other person needs to make things right between Totally Regressed (An ABDL Story) us As a white woman I can do this with white people about racism or colonization because I am not paying the personal cost in my body of being attacked by them as they work out their shame and guilt over beginning tonderstand reality I can coddle and placate cough empathize and then find their edge what they are willing to hear and then offer a wider lens because I am not in my body personally bearing the brunt of the violence it Brilliant and a ick conversational read and a great conversation starter for people socialized as men the violence it Brilliant and a ick conversational read and a great conversation starter for people socialized as men myself to reflect on how we are taught by society not to nurture the people in our lives nor even ourselves It s a book inspired by an essay called The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture The author of the essay and this book develops through transcripts of conversations rela. Nurturance that can begin to repair the harms inflicted by patriarchy white supremacy and capitalism Emerging out of insights in Gender Studies Race Theory and Psychology and influenced by contemporary social movements Turn This World Inside Out speaks to some of the most pressing issues of our ti. 25 starsWriting wasn t profound enough imo to justify a book The main essay this book was based on wasn t that deep to me I found the rest of the book to be slightly Women of the Otherworld Series Collection (Women of the Otherworld, unclear and maybe it would be impactful if I were a cishet man or someone who had n Transformation is deeply relational It s not I m going to go and receive enlightenment on top of a mountain by myself That s a colonizer s story of disconnection and self sufficiency Aravinda Ananda Cultivating Empathy and Shame Resilience in Turn This World Inside Out The Emergence of Nurturance Culture Thought provoking andseful for issues that do come Scooby-Doo! and the Farmyard Fright up in community and in activist spaces The discussions were the best parts I only wish they could be on a panel to get to specificestions I would have liked to see discussion on the stic originally posted on ArgotMagazinecomYou may have heard of Nora Samaran from her essay The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture which went viral in early 2016 In it Samaran claims violence is nurturance turned backwards and extrapolates the nuance of rape culture that pervades our lives in imperceptible ways Whether it is the weight of emotional labor performed by women femmes and nonbinary people movement building with masculine identified people working on cultivating empathy or navigating how to move forward from a culture of call outs and cancellations Samaran s essay is incredibly prescient to our world today where previously culturally mandated silences are being brokenWith the book release of Turn This World Inside Out Samaran expands on her viral essay to construct almost a manual a how to guide to heal the dominant culture we live in and also show examples of how this work is being Vee for Victory utilized by activists and individuals who are implementing nurturance culture in their daily lives Interspersed between essays on topical issues close to the cultural pulse in America and other Western cultures today such as On Gaslighting and apologizing for when harm does occur with Own Apologize Repair Coming Back to Integrity are dialogues conducted between Samaran and other activists who are trying to answer theseestions in their own work Presented as dialogues rather than interviews Samaran engages with the pitfalls of her work with the very people who are being affected by the implications of putting nurturance culture into practice As a cis white writer Samaran does not shy away from her own blind spots that could hinder the fullness of her argument for nurturance culture engaging with the blossoming complexity that arises when we try to take on these tangled power structures For example in the dialogue Turning Gender Inside Out Samaran speaks with Serena Bhandar a writer activist and educator who also happens to be transgender While The Opposite of Rape Culture is Nurturance Culture essay that starts the book focuses on men men who do not talk to one another about nurturance skillsthe codes of masculinity makes doing so frightening Bhandar addresses how transgender people are not explicitly centered in the work and converses with Samaran on how that can be corrected Bhandar states A lot of writing I have seen reduces violence to a cis male cis female dynamic where it is presented as though there is nothing beyond and nothing between Any arguments directed toward a trans audience are tacked on even though trans folks and trans women in particular face disproportionate and severe levels of violenceinstead transness should be built right into the argument from its conception especially since everybody has the potential to be transPutting transness at the center of our Star Wars understanding of gender makes apparent that cisness has also always been complicated Rather than defend her work as trans inclusive Samaran s response is refreshing in a world that often focuses on the shame that arises from being educated or corrected and the fear that comesp with being wrong Yes that makes sense Samaran responds I can see how the piece adds trans readers on as you have described rather than writing in a way that builds transness right into the fundamental way of thinking about gender Samaran demonstrates in this dialogue a core piece of nurturance culture to disrupt the harm gender Samaran demonstrates in this dialogue a core piece of nurturance culture to disrupt the harm perpetuate against s it s imperative that we to disrupt the harm perpetuate against s it s imperative that we ourselves to listen to people analysis and arguments that result in empathy to transcend our own ego so that we can work to dismantle the systems in operation around Mistress of Souls (Prophecy of the Sisters Novella us Ultimately Samaran acknowledges that the bulk of this work is often done by women femmes Black Indigenous and other feminists of color feminists who organize and theorize about these systems and doesn t present her work at the solution to these issues Rather Turn This World Inside Out is the guide for those who may resist and not have engaged with this work before I truly appreciate how Samaran builds off the theoretical movements before her withtilization of attachment theory from psychology schools of thought gender studies critical race theory and postcolonial theory As we learn about power structures and oppressions inherent in those structures Turn This World Inside Out asks what kind of world can we create when we nurture each other rather than Western individualism that is fed by imperialism and capitalism focusing on who can be the best from the rest Rather than offering a one size and capitalism focusing on who can be the best from the rest Rather than offering a one size all solution to care and accountability that distinguishes itself from call out and cancel culture Turn This World Inside Out acknowledges that this work is something that is different for everyone but also necessary to conduct In the dialogue Building Strength Through Movement and Afrofuturism with Ruby Smith Diaz Diaz states We often inhabit and replicate the toxic behaviors of the society and the state we live in We need to be able to Chronicles of a Size Queen understand what is happening tos and heal ourselves so we don t perpetuate those toxic behaviors and ways of being This is something that is happening on an The Basement unconscious level that takes conscious effort tonpack and correct With that said Samaran steps into academic and collouial language seamlessly in a way that makes complex theoretical ideas digestible for a wider audience outside of the academic spaces these theories initially originated in On gaslighting which despite the etymology of the phrase isn t about throwing a match on petroleum fuel Samaran writes Do you サイコメ 2 殺人姫と林監学 (Psycho Love Comedy understand the depth of the harm of making someoneestion their sanity This is serious shitIt is poking a hole in someone s fundamental capacity to engage with realityOur capacity to know ourselves is powerful and power in people who are situated as abject is suashed at every turn for the very reason that it has the force to overturn injustice emphasis mine By acknowledging the very real harm in a normalized activity that is inherent in thousands of day to day interactions outside of opaue academic jargon Samara is truly working to engage the reader into nurturance culture and increase accessibility Ultimately Turn This World Inside Out is an imperative text for our modern times Samaran deftly demonstrates the need for this type of book throughout her essays and dialogues This slender tome will be sure to draw readers in for providing answers to the estions people in positions of privilege have I only hope that it can live p to its title So yummy You know those friends whose book recommendations are always so good that you don t even bother reading the book jacket as long as the recommendation came from that person there are like 3 of you in my life btw Well this was one of those I got halfway through the intro before pausing and doing a little research on Nora Samaran In a good way In a holy shit who is this woman what are these ideas and why don t I know her kind of way I ve long believed that we are interconnected have a moral responsibility to one another and should take better care of each other Samaran dives into those ideas with a critical “Violence is nurturance turned backwards” writes Nora Samaran In Turn This World Inside Out she presents Nurturance Culture as the opposite of rape culture and suggests how alternative models of care and accountability―different from “call outs” which are often rooted in the politics of. ,

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